Lesson 2 LOVING RELATIONSHIPS from Special to Holy

WHAT’S SO BAD ABOUT ‘SPECIAL’?

 

          We are going to give some subtle changes to the meaning of familiar words, specifically ‘special’ and ‘holy’ when referring to relationships. These slight but extremely important changes come from their use in ‘A Course in Miracles’, the exceptionally powerful and corrective process for healing not our bodies but our minds, our lives, our relationships.

Let’s look at some examples of specialness:

“You are the only person for me!”

“You and I complete each other.”

“Jealousy shows how much you mean to me.”

“It’s you and me, kid, against the world! We’re right and they’re wrong.”

 

I could go on. I am sure we could add many more ‘loving’ statements about romantic love. But, are these statements really loving? Here is where we will draw a line between the special relationship that only looks loving, and a holy relationship that is a different relationship altogether.

          You may notice by the examples, the special relationship always has a strong element of ‘need’. The partners need each other. Now, this works really well as long as the other partner actually seems to fill that need perfectly. But, we all know that won’t last. One of the partners will fail. They won’t say exactly the right thing at the right time. They won’t make enough money, or they will spend too much time trying to make enough. They may also enjoy spending time, heaven forbid, with other people. They may enjoy things you don’t and seem critical of those that you enjoy.

And so the opportunities for failure grow exponentially. And once failure is perceived, silent treatments, arguments and eventual break up occur. Here is the special love relationship in full bloom.

          The holy relationship is very different. But, instead of trying to just define it. Let’s spend the next lessons in learning how to create one. A little clue though, the holy relationship is filled with gratitude and contentment and that takes work and skills.

 

Questions to Contemplate and Discuss

1.     If you haven’t studied ‘A Course in Miracles’, not to worry, we will be covering some of the concepts here. And if you have, what important point about specialness do you remember?

 

2.     Review the paragraph with examples of ‘specialness’. How many times just this week have you found yourself feeling this way about your partner?

 

3.     Make the decision to desire something other than specialness and create a prayer. Then remember that prayer every day. 

 

O.K. We are delving just a little deeper now. Let’s take our time and time can become a valued helper when we give it over to the goal of love.

 

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