Courtship
is wonderfully romantic, old-fashioned, yet
absolutely essential. Courtship is when you can spend thoroughly enjoyable days
and evenings getting to know each other.
This is when it is appropriate to ask the following questions, and discuss the answers honestly and fully.
1. Are you
truly committed to fidelity? Are you
truly willing to be in a marriage mode rather than a dating mode, specifically
with each other?
2. Are your
desires and goals, your philosophies and attitudes, your behaviors and methods
aligned. Do you really like and respect
each other? It’s not that you each must
do everything perfectly. It is important,
however that you don’t drive each other crazy most of the time. As you each stumble through life’s challenges,
on the whole do you find each other charming rather than irritating? Are you willing to watch with concern yet
keep a respectful distance, then swell with pride at each other’s achievements?
3. Are you
sexually attracted to each other? If you
are committed and truly like and respect your partner then you can learn to
grow into a loving and tender sexual relationship. Are you willing to create this?
If all the
signals are a go, then courtship has done its job. Hand in hand you both are
now ready to take the next step into a successful relationship.
(You
can find this excerpt and more in “Hand and Hand – Recovery and Miracles” in
the left column)
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