Wednesday, April 6, 2016

Another section from a new book in progress - "Guilt, Fear, Anger? Twelve Steps for Everything"



Your Inner Wolf Pack


       Howling an ululating poem to the moon, a lone wolf is silhouetted against the night sky. He turns, notices you watching and haughtily leaves to return to his pack. How majestic! How powerful! Chills run down your spine as you observe the primal drama. Oh, to be a wolf and to share in that majesty and power yourself.

       Over eons wolves have developed an unerring dynamic for survival called the pack.  With the pack the wolf lives, and without it he or she dies. That same instinct for successfully living in society is tied in a strangle hold to our instinct to keep our bodies going.  Within wolf or human, ego strives to perfect living in a pack. So, many of the same survival tools for wolves have been honed by human society as well. And those very same tactics that are richly alluring in their romance and strength in the wolf are often addictive, destructive and sinister in humans. Let’s take a look at why something that works so perfectly in the animal kingdom falls flat on its face in for people.

       Now, I am no expert on wolves, I’ve simply watched those same nature shows you have on TV.  But, one thing stands out – to keep the pack in working order misconduct is reprimanded quickly and fiercely. If you don’t keep the rules you endanger the survival of the pack. Just watch your pet dog. Once you establish yourself as alpha in his pack, your word is law. As your pet scoffs up that left over piece of pizza on the coffee table, you raise your voice slightly, and he stops, the ears go down and he droops off with a distinctly guilty slouch.

       Guilt is a tool:  Make the pack member feel guilty and the miscreant usually stops. If that’s not enough, fierceness can turn to viciousness and even a ripping out of the throat, a sure way of ending wrong actions, permanently, and keeping the pack safe.

Guilt is a tool to keep others in line. Now, this is really great in a wolf pack when long logical discussions are severely limited by a lack of human speech.  But, humans have hopefully evolved to, rarely, if ever ripping out a youngster’s throat for taking the car keys when he shouldn’t.  Though sometimes a few family gatherings I have observed in the past, thankfully not mine, and seen from afar, can emotionally feel just like that.

        However, guilt is still used as an extremely potent tool for keeping people around you in line. You use it on them and they on you. Some examples: Your mother calls, starts asking about your job, your friends, why you don’t call more often, and suddenly you feel like you are five years old again and you start to droop and want to creep away in a distinctly guilty slouch. Or, your spouse comes in later than usual for dinner and you ask with arched eyebrow, “So where have you been?” The atmosphere immediately turns grim.

       So, what does ‘A Course in Miracles’ say about guilt and its sidekicks anger and fear? Well, these emotions may occur, but holding onto them for longer than a moment to recognize them is ‘unjustified’. What does this mean? We are human, part of the animal branch on the tree of life and all emotions will flow through us at one time or another. However, when we hold onto guilt, anger and the resultant fear, replaying it again and again in our minds, we are changing the original law of the pack into a human dysfunction. Our ego has gained reinforcement that this is good, when in fact it is slowly killing us.

       There are deeper and darker areas of guilt within us the ego keeps carefully locked away. When unworthiness is reinforced by the world around us from childhood damage begins to erode   our subconscious leaving it tragically leprous. Ego began a massive campaign to hide these feelings of guilt, fear and unexpressed anger in a stupendously misguided campaign of coping mechanisms .  For now, though, we need not label the myriad array of neuroses and psychoses .

       All we actually need to do is recognize is that guilt is neither good nor bad, after all. Guilt is simply a red flag suggesting we may have done something incorrectly.  All we need do next is assess if our actions actually need to change. If they do, then suck it up and change. If we assess our actions as O.K. then we can go about our business as usual. Not to worry. How to assess correctly the one or the other will be reviewed in later sections.

       Since relationships are so often at the center of our survival needs, for now let’s start here:  The Course has reminded us that people are either trying to help or calling desperately for help. Whether you are in a present predicament or remembering the painful past, and someone is or has dumped guilt, just maybe changing something is a good thing. They were really trying to help and you can say thank you. But, if change is not warranted, then maybe the other person is in emotional pain and doesn’t know what else to do but find fault with others. They are crying out desperately for your help; then compassion and forgiveness must be your response. When the past is seen this way it is miraculously healed in the present.

       The glory and majesty of the pack seen on a distant snow encrusted hill is working just perfectly. They know what they are doing. Guilt, fear and a short burst of anger keeps the pack vibrant and functioning. Just remember, however, when we feel ourselves wallowing in unworthiness and wanting to dump that extra dollop of guilt and anger onto another, assess what we are doing very carefully by asking for the insight and direction of  your inner power. And when that glob of guilt smacks you in the face, shake it off, change if you need to and move right along. That’s the sign of being human and humanity becomes just as glorious and majestic as the primal wolf pack. 

       Now, if you listen carefully, you will hear the echo of human laughter combined with the ululating song of the wolf echoing through the valleys and across the distant mountains.












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