(This excerpt comes from "Hand in Hand - Recovery and Miracles" which you can find when you scroll down on the left side bar)
(Continuing for the next five Monday Mind Openers will be a detailed look at the five roles children manifest in dysfunctional families - you will probably see yourself there. I certainly did!)
Not every family is beset with alcoholism and drug abuse. But every family is beset with a constantly changing universe. Jobs change, children and adults grow old, illnesses happen. Families move from town to town. Children must adjust to new schools and new environments and adults must face financial shifts and the stress of parenting. To these normal families the world seems out-of-control.
In order to cope with these scary and annoying fluctuations individuals will choose one of these previous tactics. Sometimes they choose both. Usually partners alternate roles with the other . Most people, however have a favorite Tactic and use that one most of the time.
Sometimes these role choices dovetail so nicely that little overt stress is noticed in the relationship. The co-dependent rather successfully takes care of the addict and the addict makes sure he doesn’t change thereby graciously supporting both their roles.
The Five Roles children seem to manifest in a dysfunctional family and carry into adult life:
1. Freddie the Fixer
2. Tommy the Terrible
3. Laura the Loner
4. Joey the Joker
5. Bonnie the Baby
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