Ah, but helpfulness, what does that actually mean? After years of studying the Course the answer, like the rule, is ridiculously simple - help each and everyone I meet or even think of to lift a crushing and relentless sense of unworthiness. Or, in other words, allow the experience of our shared, innate, spiritual innocence to fill our minds and our world. Huh! This may be just a little rule, but what a doozy! Unworthiness seems to slither unwanted and unasked into our minds in the most insidious ways.
For example:
The family gathers, the laughs unfold and before you know it sibling rivalries sneak into the fun. And simmering gripes show up as clever sarcasm that cuts deep, opening oozing sores and scars once more.
Or, the ladies get together for a relaxed luncheon. Happy events are shared, but slowly and surely opinions are expressed, adversarial positions protected, superiority preserved, and with stiff, unnatural smiles and hugs the ladies leave in twos and threes, ready to gossip greedily about the ones that are not present.
Oh, the examples could go on and on, but you get the idea and can probably add a whole bunch of your own similar experiences. And they all contain the same ingredients – somehow fault is found, guilt placed and unworthiness is once more grasped, cherished and nurtured. Sometimes the guilt is place on others, “He is such an idiot saying and doing that!”, and sometimes we place it on ourselves, “Wow! I was such an idiot doing and saying those things.” And we relive the offending experience over and over, adding juicy, painful additions – just for the ‘fun’ of it. And it must be fun or we wouldn’t be so obsessed with keeping the discomfort of projected or self imposed unworthiness, would we? The obvious fact that we just love to be unhappy makes this one little rule so darn difficult to follow.
O.K. so all we need do every time we choose to find fault with another or ourselves is ‘stop’, do a 180, and see the worth, the beauty, the glow that is truly there. The problem is that this is really hard work because we are determined to keep our well entrenched craving for faultfinding. Evolution has made this an important coping mechanism. (Now that dynamic is a huge topic to dissect at another time) But, for the moment it is enough to accept that this is accurate for us all. And giving this up is really, really scary.
So, we have just one little rule – to be truly helpful – to lift debilitating guilt and its coping tactic called anger from the whole world. Whew! Then after that, what’s left but world peace! Cool? Sure, but that means we even have to stop finding fault with all those dummies who are not yet willing to give up that deliciously, self-sabotaging sense of unworthiness and the need to project it in anger onto others, which is called by the way, war.
O.K. Then my job is to take just one little step at a time, one little thought at a time, with just a little bit of willingness to rip away the old patterns of noticing all those annoying things others do. I just need to start once more to follow that one simple little rule. . . again.
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