A free excerpt from 'Hand in Hand - Recovery and Miracles'

excerpts from Hand in Hand

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. . .ADDICTION AND CO-DEPENDENCY

            Let’s take a look at the result of choosing the Deadly Cycle (of guilt, fear and anger). After all, you know you’ve made that choice in the past and in all likelihood will make it again and again.

Ego Tactics for an Out of Control World

            When you deny your Divinity by closing your eyes, your ears, and your heart to any part of the Universe you will experience fear.  Remember:  isolation leads to guilt and guilt irrevocably leads to fear.  Fear leads directly to the need to cope through projected anger.  This logic now has you alone surrounded by enemies. 

            As you emotionally isolate yourself, the world, the people in it,  manifestations and actions generated within it, and especially God that oversees it all seem isolated from you and beyond  your control!  You are now  defenseless in a hostile environment.  Logic demands that you create tactics for handling this overwhelmingly stressful situation.

Tactic One

Desensitize yourself to the pain.

The pain from fear and guilt becomes unbearable.  So Tactic one seems a logical antidote.

            Using drugs and alcohol are obvious ways  to limit your ability to feel.  But you can blur the emotional input through a veritable candy store of intensity triggers like sex, danger, intellectual concentration, and yes, even through misguided trips of denial in your spiritual practices!  And denial becomes the real problem causing a cycle of desensitizing that removes you further and further from the cause.

            An important point to remember is that choosing the Deadly Cycle is a replaying of the same mistaken karmic decision from lifetime to lifetime.  We are all born with an ingrained sense of guilt and a propensity for addiction nurtured and carefully harvested again and again throughout our many lives.  This choice is rarely conscious, but travels with us on the subtle levels until finally we choose once again, this time for healing.

Tactic Two

Aggressively and tyranically take control of yourself.

Now back to the island defenses. Instead of putting your head in the sand with addictive behavior, logic suggests one other way of handling the pain of an out-of-control world.

          Oh, you don’t always have to kick butt.  After all tears, arguments and the dumping of guilt can usually work great for manipulating others into doing it your way.

            On the surface this looks like a healthier and more responsible choice.  You take over and “help” everyone.  You smooth the way, become the peacemaker, ramrod decisions through if necessary - and always for the good of all.  After all you know what’s best don’t you?  . . .Or do you?  Well, denial makes sure you don’t look too closely at that question.  If you did you might notice that you were playing God and that can be a pretty scary place, especially since you already  believe you denied the Big Guy and He  isn’t too happy about it.

            Often co-dependency manifests as workaholism, martyrdom and over responsibility.  Interestingly the world rewards this type of behavior.  Only recently  research shows this behavior “enables” the addict to continue his dysfunction.

 After all, how could the co-dependent enabler feel “good” about himself if he didn’t make sure there was someone around for him, or her to fix.

(We will be back to another 'Snapshots' soon!)