5 Stages of Grief --- revisited by numerous requests.

(After posting this last year, the continued response and request to repost has been great, so here it is again) 
    Remember the old time cartoons where a carpet might roll up with a snap and cloud of dust? If only releasing our old hurts and grievances could happen just that way. Instead it seems that an eternally long carpet rolls back ever so slowly toward some kind of completion hidden in misty vistas we cannot perceive.

   Oh, yes, I know that a truly willing mind and heart can experience the holy instant in less than a heart beat. You have had that. I have had that. And we will have that miraculous instantaneous release again. BUT, I don't know about you--I, however, can't seem to hold that instant. Which is why, I am sure it is called an 'instant'.
    I have noticed that the forgiveness of past hurts that have lingered for so many more years than I wish to admit to, and which I have felt release from here and there, are slowly unraveling and changing. The carpet is rolling, rolling, rolling back. And here is where my title today comes from. Just like the five stages of grief from loss that a dying person seems to experiences, so, too, is my slowly rolling carpet of forgiveness going through these same stages.
   First there was DENIAL that my 'horrible hurt' of rejection by a loved one could be happening, or actually happened to me. This stage lasted for years.
   Second, and concurrant with the first, was ANGER Boy was I 'p.......d'! That SOB did that to me?!!! And that stage has lasted for years also.
    Third sent me into a spiral of BARGAINING  within my mind and with the other person involved. And, of course, it didn't work. The rejection still happened back then and continues today. That person simply refuses to see how cool I actually am! The fool!
   Fourth, was a level of DEPRESSION that would sneak in, then be hidden, then would sneak in once more. I finally recognized I had lost something important. I was rejected, would always be rejected and not loved and appreciated in the way that I wanted. Maybe I wasn't as cool as I thought. Big pout! This sadness settled into an important phase over the past few years that helped me finally start a healing process that I could recognize. I had to be careful to allow this pity party not to deepen to where I needed clinical help (but that would have been OK if I needed it).
   And so finally, the last stage of ACCEPTANCE, is occuring. I can see my own worth (as well as my limitations), and have real compassion for anyone who has trouble having compassion for me, also. My job is to, instead, be sure to see THEIR worth through their limitations!
    Though instants have occurred during this 20 year process that gave me great release and joy, I have had to allow the Holy Spirit to walk me through layers of dark cornerstones over many years and all these rollercoasting five stages. I believe I have reached the last stage in this particular area needing forgiveness.

    But, you know what? Tomorrow is another day and who knows what dark cornerstone may be uncovered so that I must begin and then continue this process all over again.