Have you ever noticed that once you start trying to apply the spiritual psychology of A Course in Miracles into your relationships all hell breaks loose? A dear friend of mine coined this stage as when ‘ the Course in Miracles turns into the Curse of Miracles’. Gotcha! You know exactly what I am talking about.
Example: You come home from your Course meeting full of love and good feelings from all those hugs and stimulating conversations, and as you begin to share all those uplifting ideas with your partner a transformation occurs. The partners eyes harden, arms cross and a toe begins to tap under the table. You see, you are changing the rules. And that is a VERY scary business.
Example: You head into work and the usual group gripe is happening by the coffee machine. You step in and begin to share how they are holding grievances, joining together in a special relationship of need and just have to ‘let go’, etc. etc. Now, all you are trying to offer is a new perspective, except you are sounding amazing superior and faultfinding. Uh oh, the group then turns its collective griping toward you!
These new rules you are trying to apply are starting to get you into very real trouble. So, let’s take a look at some of the stages that we all have to stumble through.
The first honeymoon stage of studying the Course is filled with hope and happiness. Everything and everyone is just so beautiful! From now on you know you and your world will be just sooooo happy.
Second stage occurs when you find applying the concepts of the Course are sometimes tricky. Example: You and your partner are both studying the Course, but when the first disagreement occurs one or the other of you will stab forth with a comment something like this, ‘Well, I can see you aren’t in a very forgiving mood. I am just trying to give you loving advice and you are attacking me for being helpful!’ Hmm, perhaps as you read this you may notice a problem, the response is actually an attack glossed over in ‘Coursey’ language.
Third stage: Your understanding of Atonement develops and you understand you are not to encourage a sense of guilt in others, as well as yourself. You are becoming truly compassionate, diplomatic and have become a much better listener. You are becoming adept at playing with a whole new set of rules based on forgiveness.
O.K. This sounds like all should be well by this time. But that is just not necessarily true. Unless, those around you are playing with the same rules, chaos still can reign. But, take heart. This is what I have noticed tends to happen:
1. New rules scare others who have spent their whole lives building up what they believe is a successful coping mechanism. Be gentle with them as you begin to shatter their fragile strategies.
2. As you fumble your way through these new rules yourself, others see your inconsistency and believe this is a new hidden agenda and you are still playing with the old rules. So, be prepared for a sneaky backlash.
3. When you become truly more adept and consistent in applying Course concepts, the people around you notice this and a natural process of elimination occurs. Some will be intrigued and through mimicry will begin to try out these new rules with you. They try it and will probably like it and these relationships tend to stick around. Others, however, may jut out their chins, say ‘screw you’ and refuse to play. These are the relationships that will eventually just drift away. Oh, well, that’s the way it just has to be.
Now, the circle has come fully around, everything and everyone is just so beautiful! From now on you know you and your world will be just sooooo happy, just the way you knew it would be, right from the beginning.
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