Oh, how alluring is the 'newest' passion in our life. Its sudden glare blinds us to what has already been wonderful. This became so when a member of AA and ALONON of 24 years became empassioned with A Course in Miracles, and found the regular 12 Step meetings a struggle with their emphasis on behavior modification, and the added difficulty of sharing in meetings the new found understanding that the world was an illusion, and having a sponsor who was not really familiar with the Course. An email to me requested some perspective. And so I share my email answer here, also, after I first got with permission.
Dear One,
You honor me so much by asking my advice and thoughts. Let me first share by saying I am a part of alanon and not AA - That said I still feel I can share some insight into your dilemma. All of us go 'dry' at times with our studies, passions and responsiblities (to ourselves as well as others). We simply want to'slump'. Well, that is very normal.
Adding the Course to your continued efforts at sobriety need not be a hassle. Perhaps when you read something from AA each day, you can simply add a workbook lesson from the Course and a paragraph or two from the Text, also. The parallels will be amazing and create a 'double wammie!' It can be as simple, but as powerful as that.
Now. Let's address the concepts of the Course as it applies when you go to an AA meeting. Though the Course states this world is an illusion, it also states that to deny the seeming solidity of our bodies and the concrete objects around us, is 'an unfortunate form of denial'. What we learn to do is allow the Holy Spirit to use our bodies, our words, our actions for the purpose of healing the shared belief in guilt, fear and anger. In other words, the illusion of being attacked by others, and even our own mind, and then needing to defend ourselves, is the only illusion we need be concerned with in applying Course concepts. The metaphysical laws can be studied, but the only necessary application is to forgive the illusions we have about ourselves and others.
Behavior modification? Isn't that a lovely answer given to us by the Holy Spirit? You may have noticed that the Course workbook lessons want us to remember the lessons on a half hour or fifteen minutes basis. It asks us to 'just do it'! every day. Aren't the lessons asking us to practice seeing differently, and doing differently? Isn't that all behavior modification? Cool!
As you already know, your presence in an AA meeting is for others, too. "You are the Light of the world." "You are among the ministers of God", to quote Course workbook lessons. Perhaps as you attend your meetings, listening as the Holy Spirit speaks through others in the symbols that they can understand, and then guiding them with the specific behavior that can keep them healthy, you will feel the upliftment of the Holy Spirit within yourself and a miracle of resurgant passion can unfold.
I truly hope these words have helped, or at least the love and caring that I send you will be of comfort. I do have a request. As I wrote these words I thought perhaps others may want to read them also. Would you allow me to offer them in my blog, keeping your questions phrased as a general request from someone in AA who wanted to feel more comfortable in AA meetings now that they were studying the Course?
Bless you dear One, my heart is with yours,
Bette
(If you have any other questions that I may be able to help you with, please feel free to email me at: bette@bettejeancundiff.com)
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